Original Air Date: January 29, 2002
Written by Jane Espenson
Directed by Nick Marck
Vampires Slain =
Wearing her "Trainee" nametag, the Slayer watches a tacky job-orientation video. Talk about "mystery meat!" Doublemeat's Medley sandwiches are advertised as half-chicken and half-beef. Manny the Manager gives Buffy a tour. In the break-room, Buffy meets two creepy co-workers, Phillip and Timothy. Buffy also notices several employee lockers labeled "Vacant." She's told that the turnover rate here is very high.
After a tour of the kitchen -- where many areas are off-limits -- Buffy takes her position at the counter. She sees the patrons seem to like the food, even the odd Wig Lady. During a lunch break, Buffy decides to investigate the walk-in freezer. Manny warns her about getting too curious about "secret ingredients." Willow, Xander, Anya and Dawn show up to wish the Buffster good luck. The Slayer tries to tell them the place is strange, but her crew ignores her.
Working a night shift, Buffy finds Spike there. The bleached bloodsucker wants some Slayer to nibble on, so he puts some moves on her. Buffy resists. Cracking on the weird vibe here, Spike tells her this place will kill her. As co-worker Gary gets ready to go home after work, something lurches from behind a dumpster -- and attacks him.
Next day, as Buffy punches in, Phillip and Timothy tell her Gary is missing. Manny takes Gary's timecard and tosses it into a box marked "Gone," a box with many cards already in it. Manny asks Buffy to work the grill. As we see some girl-on-grill action, Buffy asks Phillip about Doublemeat's secret. He tells her it's a special process.
While Manny asks Buffy to work a double shift, Timothy drops an armload of wrapped food and announces the new meat has arrived. Meanwhile, Xander is confronted in his apartment by Halfrek, a vengeance demon. Before she can attack him, his bride-to-be Anya intervenes. She says she summoned Halfrek not to kill Xander, but to see him and Anya happily married. Halfrek's not so sure about the happy part.
Back at Doublemeat, Buffy discovers the so-called "Vacant" employee lockers are still filled with belongings. As she's wondering why, Spike shows up for a bloodsucker booty call. As he and the Slayer get it on in the parking lot, Amy doses Willow in her room, re-igniting a powerful passion for the magic they once shared.
On the job again, Buffy notices something odd in the meat grinder: a human finger. She confronts Manny, then runs to warn the patrons: the Doublemeat Medley is people!
Busting in on Xander and Willow, Buffy blurts out her discovery. While the two work to analyze the meat, Buffy goes back for more evidence. She finds Manny's severed foot. What Willow finds is the real chemical composition of the Doublemeat Medley. Terrified for Buffy's safety, she rushes out to warn her.
At the restaurant, Buffy is confronted by the Wig Lady, who reveals her true self: she’s a venom- spewing lamprey. The Slayer fights the slimer, but the poison-spitter starts to paralyze her. Lamprey Lady lunges for the kill. Suddenly, Willow smashes through a window, shouting the strange Doublemeat secret: it's not human flesh, it's all-vegetable. The Lamprey Lady spews toxic saliva at Willow. Buffy and Willow snatch the slithery slimer, and mash her through the meat grinder.
Next day, Willow asks Amy not to dose her again and tempt her back to their old magic. Buffy is resigned to quitting her job, until she meets Doublemeat manager Lorraine. Since fast-foodies hate vegetables, she asks Buffy not to reveal the company’s vegetarian secret. Needing a paycheck, the Slayer agrees to stay silent and stay on.